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Kung Ew…


When I was young and watching Kung Fu I used to wonder how it’s lead protagonist, played by David Carradine, could possibly be defeated. A highly trained killing machine on intimate terms with the arcane fighting wisdoms of the Orient, the character of Cain seemed to be beyond beating Turns out it wasn’t that difficult. All you apparently needed was a few lengths of rope, a hotel room in Bangkok, and a marathon drinking session.

Yes, Carradine is dead, another victim of good old sexual auto-asphyxiation (think Michael Hutchens and Ronald Reagan). Was he serious? At the ripe of age of 72, when most are settling into aimless naps in front of daytime telly and the slow collapse of internal organs, Carradine was having himself a right knees up before passing away from what Thai Lieutenant-General Worapong Siewpreecha described as “death by masturbation”. Honestly, did anyone know you could die from that? Coz it kinda calls for a radical lifestyle re-think.

After reportedly drinking beer from morning till night the day before, Carradine was discovered with a rope around his neck and another around his genitals. Two more ropes were found in the closet. Presumably in case any friends dropped by. You gotta be prepared. Ironically, Carradine was in Thailand working on a film titled Stretch, though presumably this was not the tale of a geriatric seeking longer proportions and tying either end of himself to ropes to achieve it. But you never know.

Anyway, the point here is something about old films stars, lengths of ropes, and Thailand that I am still piecing together. For now its enough to say that we will mourn the man who brought martial arts into the living rooms of Americans years before they were ready to see an actual Asian playing the role of an Asian. Thanks David. Peace.


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