Twinkle twinkle little star, I got 56 of you tattooed on my face and upset my pa. So it goes for 18 year old Kimberly Vlaminck from Belgium. Since returning home to her parents with her new look Vlaminck has maintained that she only requested three small stars to be tattooed on to her face but the tattooist failed to understand and gave her 56. How could this happen? the world asks. Because she fell asleep, only to wake up hours later looking like the Milky Way. is she serious?
Of course she isn’t! Nobody sleeps through the agonizing pain of facial tattoos. Stick your head in any of the more notorious Maori gang headquarters in New Zealand and ask them. Actually no, don’t do that. Go ask Donatella Versace if she falls asleep in the chair every time she has a new face drawn on. Actually, with a bloodstream aswirl with pharmaceuticals and gin it’s probably not that easy to stay awake.
Anyway, little Kimberly has admitted she was, in fact, lying, and that she had instructed the tattooist to make her look like the top left hand corner of the US flag after all. Well, there’s a revelation. The whole story was apparently made up to appease dear old dad who, not understanding that the fashion of facial graffiti is ‘in’ right now, hit the roof. Up till that point he had believed her story. Was he serious? I guess he also maintains that she has never smoked a cigarette, had a drink, or partaken in feces based sexual activity (it’s a well documented Belgian thing. if you don’t believe it grab a Lonely Planet. Or is it Windmill Loving Poo Eaters I’m thinking of? One of the two.).
Well Papa, while you’re busy hitting the roof it might be worth considering that your chain-smoking booze-skulling 56-star-face-ridiculous-looking little girl might just want some attention from her daddy. (Again, to really understand the meaning of that refer to Lonely Planet. Or is it My Belgium, My Daughter, My Dungeon? Whatever). The point is that this girl now has the story of her insecurities written all of her face.